dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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