their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize