If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
