were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
