JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
