Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
