My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
