i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
