would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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