I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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