what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
