Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
