Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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