i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he fucked my hip out of place.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
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