it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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