went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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