I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize