Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
