Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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