You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
