Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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