How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
