haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
