I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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