Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
