what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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