Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize