clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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