i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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