If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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