So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
