I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
