8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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