It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
