Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
