im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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