Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
