Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
