Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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