I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
