Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
