I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
