Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
