What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
