the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
