I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
