Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize