Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize