Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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