You're completely useless in the revolution.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
