when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You may now shotgun with the bride
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
