I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You need a sexual gate keeper
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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