Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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