i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
no you cant smoke seaweed
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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