I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
