So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize