She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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