last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I am spending my child support on dildos
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
